Project Manager Definitions from Sedition.com
The important ones:
scope creep
hostile feature negotiation.
slippage
retaliation.
…and the scary events of a software project.
Some of the key scary elements of a software project:
- Management has renamed its Waterfall process to Agile Waterfall
- Your eldest team member references Martin Fowler as a ’snot-nosed punk’
- The SCRUM master doesn’t really care what you did yesterday or what you will do today
- Your best developer only has his A+ Certification
- You do not understand the acronyms DRY, YAGNI, or KISS; but you do understand WTF, PHB, and FUBAR
- Every milestone ends in a dead sprint
- Project estimates magically match the budget
- You get into flame wars if { should be on new line, but you are impartial to patterns such as MVC
- The company hires Senetor Ted Stevens to give your project kick-off inspiration speech
- Your boss expects you to spend the next 2 days creating a purchase request for a $50 component
- The sales team decreased your estimates because they believe you can work faster
- Requirement – Rank #1 on Google
- Management can not understand why anyone needs more than a single monitor
- Your development team only uses source control as a power failure backup system
- The project code name is renamed to ‘The Death March’
- Your teammates don’t refactor, they refuctor
…and the scariest thing to see on a software project?
The return of the Waterfall Process.
