Software Fuctoring

Project Manager Definitions from

The important ones:

scope creep
    hostile feature negotiation.


…and the scary events of a software project.

Some of the key scary elements of a software project:

  • Management has renamed its Waterfall process to Agile Waterfall
  • Your eldest team member references Martin Fowler as a ’snot-nosed punk’
  • The SCRUM master doesn’t really care what you did yesterday or what you will do today
  • Your best developer only has his A+ Certification
  • You do not understand the acronyms DRY, YAGNI, or KISS; but you do understand WTF, PHB, and FUBAR
  • Every milestone ends in a dead sprint
  • Project estimates magically match the budget
  • You get into flame wars if { should be on new line, but you are impartial to patterns such as MVC
  • The company hires Senetor Ted Stevens to give your project kick-off inspiration speech
  • Your boss expects you to spend the next 2 days creating a purchase request for a $50 component
  • The sales team decreased your estimates because they believe you can work faster
  • Requirement – Rank #1 on Google
  • Management can not understand why anyone needs more than a single monitor
  • Your development team only uses source control as a power failure backup system
  • The project code name is renamed to ‘The Death March’
  • Your teammates don’t refactor, they refuctor

…and the scariest thing to see on a software project?

The return of the Waterfall Process.